Inspired by Poo

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This is really funny. By Karen Cheng.

 
 

Sent to you by Wei Han via Google Reader:

 
 

via Karen Cheng's Fashion and Life by admin on 6/17/12

Warning!: This post contains explicit images of art inspired by poo.

A minor plague of diarrhea has swept through my kid's school. Probably a minor winter flu thing.

But of course, the kids brought the germs home… so now we have all had it in varying degrees.

We all lovingly refer to it as "The Squirty Poos".

It isn't life threatening. And it isn't really a problem for anyone in our house… except my 3 year old Liam. He tends to ignore the signals coming from his bottom till it's very, very close to being too late. A couple of times, it HAS been too late, which is awful for him (he is embarrassed) and awful for me (I have to clean it up!).

As it turns out, he needs to do Squirty Poos very frequently. In fact, it is SO frequent that going out of the house is a problem. And it's been fraying my nerves.

For example.

Driving along in the car. Liam happily chats to me…

"Hey Mum, I saw a SIX and a ZERO. Hey Mum, I saw a blue bicycle! Hey Mum, look at that big PINK truck! Hey Mum… I HAVE TO DO SQUIRTY POOS!!!!!!!!!!!! NOW!!!!!!! NOW! NOW! NOW! NOW! NOW!

Panic attack in the car. Tires screech. Public toilets. Tearing his pants off. Pointing his ass at the toilet.

Explosion!

His butt sounds like a cappuccino machine as it spray paints the inside of toilet with explosive flecks of runny, Squirty Poos.

Even as an experienced mother, I find this both repulsive and humiliating.

But he isn't embarrassed, or stressed. Far from it, in fact. Once it's all out, he looks down between his legs at the spattered mess, and it's like he is reading tea leaves or something.

He gets really grumpy if I wipe his ass and flush it all away before he gets a chance to study it properly. And he wants to talk about it.

"Look mummy, I see a bunny rabbit!"

"They look like pineapples."

"This one is just a man in a boat."

"OH I see a smiley face!!"

So I take a look, just in case, by some miracle, there is a picture of something there.

But no. There isn't.

To me, it just looks like shit. Every time.

I guess I just don't have that much imagination.

So, here is a picture he drew (with one of his brothers) of his toilet tea reading.

He calls it "Brown Stars".

Brown Stars

So now I am inspired to teach and train him to wipe his own ass, so I don't have to suffer his taste in art.

(Maybe he will be a famous painter one day.)


 
 

Things you can do from here:

 
 

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