:: w3|h@n ::

"My computer's telling me I performed an illegal abortion." +++ Customer: "Do I hit 'F' and '8' at the same time?" +++ Tech Support: "Ok, let's try once more, but use lower case letters..." Customer: "Uh, I only have capital letters on my keyboard."

有一女士回家路上, 在报摊, 买了份报纸, 找钱的时候, 她问老板：“不好意思, 你猜我几岁？” 　　 老板说：32。 她好高兴：47啦！ 　　 　　 接着,她去卖当劳.问柜台的 小姐 同样的问题。 小姐说：我猜29。 　　 她好高兴: 不是, 47啦! 兴高采烈，她去街角的统一超市买包口香糖，忍不住又问那里的柜台小姐。 　　 小姐说: 嗯, 我猜30。　　 她好得意: 47, 谢谢 ! 　　 　　 等公车的时候，她又问旁边的老头。 　　 老头说：我78岁了，眼睛不好，看不出来。不过，年轻的时候有种方法可以确定。如果你让我把手伸进你的乳罩里，我绝对可以知道你的年纪！ 　　 半晌无声，空旷的大街上，她终于忍不住好奇：好吧!你试试看。 老头把手伸入她的衬衫，又伸进她的乳罩，开始缓慢而仔细地摸索。 几分钟以后, 她说：好了，你猜我几岁？　　 　 老头又捏了最后一下，把手拿出来。说：女士，你47岁。 　　 　　 美女 大吃一惊，惊讶的问: 好厉害! 你怎么知道的？ 　　 “保证不生气？” “不生气! ” 　　 　　 老头的回答让美女晕到： 老头说：在麦当劳, 我排你后面。

Q：非洲食人族的酋长吃什么？ A：人啊！ Q：那有一天，酋长病了，医生告诉他要吃素，那他吃什么？ A：吃植物人！~~

在 一次医院会议上，一位男医生和女医生不断地眉来眼去。男医生请女医生共进晚餐，她接受了。他们在餐厅里坐下，她告退片刻去洗手。饭后，一切自然而然地发展 下去。最后他们进了旅馆房间。正当他们开始升温时，她打断了，又说要去洗手间。完事后，她起床，又说要去洗手。等她回来时，男医生说：“我敢打赌你肯定是 个外科医生。”她承认了，问他怎么知道。“很简单，你常去洗手。”男医生答道。然后她说：“我敢打赌你是个麻醉师。”“哇!你怎么猜到的？”男医生问。 “因为刚才我一点感觉都没有。”

ENGLISH: That server gives a plug and play service to the client using either hardware orsoftware joystick. The joystick goes into the port of the client. Now in BAHASA: Pelayan itu memberi pelanggannya layanan cucuk dan main dengan menggunakanbatang gembira jenis keras atau lembut. Batang gembira itu akan dimasukkan kedalam lubang pelanggan..

There is a very very tall coconut tree and there are 4 animals sitting beneath it:King Kong, an ape, an orang utan and a monkey. Which animal do you think will be the fastest to get the banana? Your answer determines your personality. To discover your personality, scroll down to see the answer. If your answer is:1) King Kong, then you are dull 2) ape , then you are foolish3) orang utan, then you are stupid 4) monkey, then you an idiot Kawan... coconut tree where got bananas la ??? Obviously you're tortured by your work!!!

Samy Vellu ditemuramah tentang program angkasawan negara. Samy: "...Bagi saya, ini semua adalah satu pembaziran atas duit rakyat. Kita sepatutnya tidak hantar mereka ke bulan, tapi hantar mereka pergi matahari. Barulah USA, Russia, respect sama kita...." Penemuramah: Tapi Dato' Seri, matahari kan panas. Macam mana mau pergi sana? Samy: Cit! itu pasal la u tara jadi mintri. Saya suda lebey 30 tahun jadi mintri, saya musti ada jalan penyelesaian. Kita jangan pergi siang, manyak panas. kita pigi malam, baru ada sujuuuuuk......

Between the ages of 18-21 a woman is like Africa or Australia. She is half discovered, half wild and naturally beautiful with bushland around the fertile deltas. Between the ages of 21-30 a woman is like America or Japan. Completely discovered, very well developed and open to trade especially with countries with cash or cars. Between the ages of 30-35, she is like India or Spain. Very hot, relaxed and convinced of its own beauty. Between the ages of 35-40 a woman is like France or Argentina. She may have been half destroyed during the war but can still be a warm and desirable place to visit. Between the ages of 40-50 she is like Yugoslavia or Afghanistan. She lost the war and is haunted by past mistakes. Massive reconstruction is now necessary. Between the ages of 50-60 she is like Russia or Canada. Very wide, quiet and the borders are practically un-patrolled but the frigid climate keeps people away. Between the ages of 60-70 a woman is like England or Mongolia. With a glorious and al...

有个美女到警察局报警，说：“我被强奸了”警察问：“知道强奸犯的特征吗？”美女说：“温柔、粗大、特长、体力好、有技巧、有经验、耐力好。。。。。”警察“。。。。”

# UK Immigration Officer: Purpose of visit? Visitor: I'm here to study law, sir. Officer: You know, you must have a lot of lawyers in Malaysia . Visitor: Why do you say that? Officer: Well, i've been here for a good twenty years, and I'd say 80% of Malaysians I see here say they're here to read law. Visitor: Oh, really? That's really something i never knew. Hard to believe in fact. Officer: Just you watch, then. You just stand here until the next Malaysian comes along, and I'll bet he's here to read law. *Visitor waits for 5 minutes, Ah Chong from Malaysia comes to immigration counter* Officer: Mr. Ah Chong, purpose of visit? Ah Chong: Study lorr... #